


Secret

by mean_whale



Series: Heatwave AU [9]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidental Knotting, Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Sex, Angst, Exhibitionism, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Frottage, Homosexuality, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Omega Verse, One Night Stands, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Sex, Rimming, Surprise Ending, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-09 14:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7806175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo has always had a problem with his sexuality, but is lucky enough to find a friend who doesn't judge him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Remembering Bokuto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this is a part of the Heatwave AU, this should be fine as a standalone. Kuroo isn't really that close to the main events.

Kuroo Tetsurou had a secret.

There was something wrong with him. He wasn’t normal, and he had probably never been. The most normal he had ever felt in his life was when he had fallen for Sugawara Koushi and had sex with him.

Kuroo Tetsurou was an alpha who was interested in other alphas.

He had always been that way, and he knew that he had been built wrong. Alphas were attracted to omegas, no questions asked, and never to each other. Alphas wouldn’t ever want to be together, because they weren’t built to be on the receiving end of sex, and that’s how it was.

When Kuroo had met Bokuto he had felt a weird sense of comradery. Bokuto smelled different than other alphas, his scent made Kuroo’s heart beat but not in the ”I want to tap that” way. It was more of a ”you would understand me” feeling. Not to mention they immediately hit it off, their sense of humour bringing them together. When he was around Bokuto, Kuroo didn’t feel like he had to make sure to not let his shameful side come out.

One evening they were sitting in Bokuto’s bedroom, sprawled on the floor and pretending to still care about their homework that was lying beside them. Bokuto turned to Kuroo, eyes wide and unpretentious as he said:

”You like alphas, don’t you?”

Kuroo nearly choked. He waited with baited breath for Bokuto to continue, to serve the blow that was undoubtedly about to come, but the silence continued. He slowly turned to look at Bokuto who was staring at him expectantly, and went bright red.

”I never thought you to be that perceptive,” he said and cleared his throat.

”I was right then?” Bokuto asked and looked at Kuroo exactly the same as before.

Kuroo nodded, still not ready to admit the truth out loud.

”Will you have sex with me?” Bokuto asked then.

Kuroo spluttered in surprise, body going rigid and face heating up even more. He was certain that if he blushed any harder his face would catch fire.

”I mean, just as friends, you know,” Bokuto continued as if oblivious to Kuroo’s reaction. ”No strings attached. Unless…”

Bokuto sat up and looked at Kuroo who suddenly felt absolutely helpless and small compared to his friend.

”You don’t have feelings for me, do you?” Bokuto asked.

”No!” Kuroo croaked out.

He forced himself to sit up too.

”I mean,” he continued with a more controlled voice, ”you’re a great friend but I’m not into you.”

Bokuto smiled brightly.

”Then there’s no problem, right?” he said. ”So what do you say? Will you help a friend in need?”

Kuroo looked at Bokuto’s sincere face and couldn’t help feeling a wave of affection.

”Why?” he asked. ”You’re not into alphas. Don’t you want to wait for an omega? You shouldn’t have any trouble getting laid.”

”Kuroo,” Bokuto said seriously. ”I don’t have time to think about dating, and I have yet to meet an omega who is seriously interested in casual sex.”

”You could try a dating site,” Kuroo suggested weakly, but he was aware of the fact that most omegas wanted something serious due to their nature.

”You know Akaashi is omega,” Bokuto continued. ”Sometimes it catches me off guard if it’s been a very intense practice. I’m not used to being around a sweaty omega who smells so inviting. I have needs.”

Kuroo chuckled at Bokuto’s serious face.

”Why don’t you ask him out?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto’s eyes went wide.

”Kuroo!” he hissed like Kuroo had said something inappropriate. ”I don’t like him that way.”

”You only like his scent,” Kuroo stated, and Bokuto nodded.

”So how about it?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo couldn’t say anything immediately. He looked at his friend whose entire posture was focused. Even his hair seemed to be standing in attention.

”Do you find me unattractive?” Bokuto suddenly asked.

”What? No!” Kuroo replied. ”Man, you’re hot as hell. I just… I don’t want our friendship to suffer.”

”Are you afraid you might fall for me?” Bokuto asked and cackled.

Kuroo thought for a little moment before shaking his head.

”I don’t think that’s going to happen,” he said truthfully.

”Then there’s nothing to worry about,” Bokuto declared.

Kuroo was still hesitant, but Bokuto was persistent, and eventually Kuroo was convinced. It would work for him as an opportunity to have sex with an alpha, something he would most likely never experience otherwise, and it would most definitely be better than masturbating.

When Bokuto first kissed Kuroo it was awkward and clumsy, and ended up with both of them giggling nervously until they were flat out laughing. Their second try worked out better, even though they were both still smirking from their previous laughing fit and had tears at the corners of their eyes. There was no third kiss that time as the second one was good enough to melt into touches and grinding against each other with their slacks barely pushed out of the way.

*

Their second time was more controlled, both of them prepared for it, and they stripped out of their clothes before touching each other.

”Wow, Kuroo! You’re hung!” Bokuto said while openly staring at Kuroo’s cock that had already swollen slightly with anticipation.

”Well,” Kuroo simply said and pointedly looked at Bokuto’s cock that was unquestionably an impressive sight.

Bokuto was eager to kiss, but something about it felt awkward to Kuroo so he dodged and grabbed a hold of his friend’s cock before he could try again. Instead Bokuto whined and lowered his head onto Kuroo’s shoulder, lips nibbling on the skin there. His hand found Kuroo’s cock, and it didn’t take long for both of them to be hard and desperate.

Bokuto swatted Kuroo’s hand away and pressed their cocks together, wrapping his hand around them as well as he could. A thrill travelled down Kuroo’s spine and his hips rolled forward to meet Bokuto’s burly frame and his hands grabbed a hold of Bokuto’s ass. He found the muscles underneath his hands satisfying to touch, and Bokuto didn’t seem to have any complaints about the way he was kneading the flesh and pulling Bokuto’s groin closer to his own.

Panting, Kuroo looked down to how his cock was sliding against Bokuto’s in his grip, both dark red and dripping, and he looked up to his friend. The alpha was biting his lower lip but cracked a smile when he noticed Kuroo looking.

”Good?” he asked, voice rough and strained.

”Yeah,” Kuroo breathed out and pressed forward to claim Bokuto’s lips in a kiss.

Kuroo licked his way into his friend’s mouth, and soon after he felt the base of Bokuto’s cock swell against his own, the beginning of a knot pressing against his sensitive flesh.

”I’m close,” Bokuto said as if it wasn’t obvious.

Kuroo moaned against Bokuto’s throat when he felt the knot swell and Bokuto released between them, come dripping onto his hand and down Kuroo’s shaft. Bokuto released his hold but before he could pull away Kuroo took a hold of their cocks.

”Please,” he whined, frantically stroking his cock against Bokuto’s knot.

Bokuto didn’t say anything, but didn’t try to retreat either. His clean hand pressed against Kuroo’s ass, grabbing a good handful of the firm flesh and fingertips very close to the entrance.

When Kuroo came he was loud, and later apologised to Bokuto who only laughed.

*

The next time Kuroo was more prepared to kiss, and he did, in fact, suggest it to Bokuto to take time to practice kissing. After that Kuroo had no problem kissing Bokuto, and they sometimes did that without having sex too. Bokuto was good at putting Kuroo’s mind at ease with his straightforward attitude. He enjoyed the days when they were simply lazing around in one of their rooms, lips searching each other and tongues meeting in soft strokes. Bokuto was an eager kisser, his enthusiasm making him somewhat clumsy, but Kuroo found it endearing. He liked the way Bokuto’s teeth caught on his lip, how he got sloppy and kissed Kuroo somewhere around the mouth but not quite finding the target.

*

Kuroo still clearly remembered the face Bokuto had made when he told Bokuto he wanted to be fucked. Bokuto had been a mix of surprise and interest, and it didn’t take much for Kuroo to convince him. Bokuto was, in fact, so excited that he blew his load before fully entering Kuroo – another thing they would later laugh about.

*

It didn’t take many times of Bokuto fucking Kuroo before he got curious, and one day it was Kuroo’s turn to be surprised when Bokuto said he wanted to try bottoming.

”It looks like you’re really enjoying yourself when we do it,” Bokuto explained, ”so I want to see if I’d enjoy it too.”

While Kuroo was mostly taken off guard, he was also incredibly excited about the thought of feeling what it’s like to really fuck an alpha. He made sure to prepare Bokuto well and make him feel good before even attempting to enter, and it all worked out well, although Bokuto did later complain that his ass felt weird.

*

After that it was anything goes. Sometimes they kissed and nothing more, sometimes they fucked twice so each got a turn to top. Kuroo was especially fond of the times when Bokuto was pushing into him with abandon, strong body leaning over his back so that he could feel the way Bokuto’s muscles worked. Bokuto had a funny way of knowing exactly when to touch Kuroo to give him the most pleasure.

A time that Kuroo was often thinking about in particular was when he had Bokuto riding him while he sat on the bed, back leaning against the wall, and he had his hands on Bokuto’s thighs. They were thick and strong, and Kuroo shivered as Bokuto pounded up and down on his cock, face sweaty and mouth slightly open, small groans circling the two of them.

Suddenly Bokuto smirked and tightened his muscles, the pressure causing Kuroo to cry out and push up, hips colliding with Bokuto’s ass, and with a couple more deep thrusts he came, vision blurring and hands searching for something to hold on to. Bokuto clung to him, muscular body pressed so close he could feel the beat of his heart, and soon Kuroo felt the familiar stickiness spread between them as Bokuto’s knot rubbed against his stomach.

The both took a moment to breathe and collect themselves, but when Kuroo tried to move, he suddenly realised what had happened.

”Uh,” he tried to say something, but his thoughts were on overdrive.

”Kuroo,” Bokuto said against Kuroo’s shoulder.

”I sincerely apologise,” Kuroo said and pat Bokuto’s back.

”Kuroo, you knotted me,” Bokuto said with a hint of terror raising to the forefront of his voice.

”I know,” Kuroo snapped, but forced his voice calm when Bokuto shifted. ”I’m sorry, okay. I obviously got too carried away. I’m so sorry, Koutarou.”

”Don’t use my first name in this situation!” Bokuto barked and made an effort to breathe steadily.

”Bokuto, my man, you know I didn’t mean for this to happen, don’t you?” Kuroo said.

”Yeah I know,” Bokuto sighed and leaned his head against Kuroo’s.

They were quiet for a moment. Bokuto was clearly freaked out, and Kuroo wondered if it would be okay to stroke his back in comfort.

”It feels so weird,” Bokuto suddenly said.

”What does it feel like?” Kuroo asked, unable to hide his curiosity.

”It kind of hurts,” Bokuto said and squirmed. ”It’s too big.”

”Huh,” Kuroo said thoughtfully. ”I wish I could experience it.”

”Just to be clear,” Bokuto said and straightened up to meet Kuroo’s eyes, ”I’m not going to knot you. That’s where I draw the line.”

”I know,” Kuroo said with a smile. ”And I’ll do my best to never knot you again.”

”You’ll try?” Bokuto asked with a raised eyebrow, but neither of them could hold their laughter for much longer.

”I’m so lucky to have such a good friend,” Kuroo said.

”That’s so sappy!” Bokuto said and wrinkled his nose. ”But yeah, you’re the best friend anyone could have.”

Bokuto kissed Kuroo’s cheek, and Kuroo felt himself blush. He turned his head down to rest his forehead on Bokuto’s shoulder.

They were quiet again. Kuroo felt his heart swell in a smile. Bokuto shifted on his lap.

”Bokuto, stay still,” Kuroo said. ”If you keep moving around my knot will never go down.”

Bokuto lifted Kuroo’s head up to look into his eyes.

”Are you aroused by this?” he asked so seriously it was almost comical. ”Are you getting pleasure from this?”

Kuroo’s face was heating up under Bokuto’s gaze and he tried to turn his head around, but Bokuto’s hold was strong.

”It’s only natural, isn’t it?” he tried to argue. ”Don’t you ever play with your knot?”

”Kurooo,” Bokuto groaned. ”Eww, stop it!”

Just then Kuroo’s cock decided to release some more into Bokuto. The alpha let out a strangled squeak and Kuroo wanted to be swallowed by the earth. Bokuto rested his head on Kuroo’s shoulder again.

”I’d rather do homework than this,” he mumbled and Kuroo couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone suggested Kuroo being gay to me, and while I was hesitant at first I eventually fell in love with the idea and here I am, writing this.
> 
> I wasn't really going to publish yet, because I've been writing this as a side fic almost, but I also like what I have so much I couldn't wait. Hopefully I can keep updating in a sensible time!


	2. Sugawara's Scent ft. Kenma's Secret

When it was announced that Nekoma would have a joint practice with Karasuno, Kuroo was interested in seeing what kind of alphas the school’s team had. Even though he had accepted the fact that his _condition_ was bad and probably one-of-a-kind, he was still secretly hopeful that one day an alpha would look at him and see what he saw in them.

When Karasuno’s team walked in, Kuroo allowed himself a moment to breathe deeply and enjoy the new wave of alpha that hit him. He smiled to himself, tried to differentiate each scent from one another and see who smelled the most arousing to him. He then quickly pulled himself together and looked around to see if anyone had noticed his odd behaviour. He looked at the Karasuno alphas and hoped that he could get away with a bit of flirting.

Kuroo first noticed the light haired boy during the first set, and after the first glance to his direction he couldn’t stop looking. Immediately after the game was over he made his way towards the boy, trying to get close without appearing suspicious.

There was something different about his scent, something that Kuroo couldn’t quite distinguish. He smelled different from all the other alphas Kuroo had ever noticed, yet his heart was beating unarguably with the same heaviness it always did when he met someone interesting.

After watching Sugawara – that’s what the boy was called – for a while, he came to realise two things:

First, Sugawara was dating the team’s captain.

Second, he wasn’t an alpha.

Kuroo felt a glimmer of hope at that; he had fallen for an omega for the first time in his life. Maybe it had just been a matter of time, maybe he just needed to grow up enough to notice omegas.

The hopefulness was shadowed by the fact that now that he had finally found an omega to want he couldn’t get him. He did all he could to spend every minute possible close to Sugawara without rousing suspicion, but Karasuno soon headed back to Miyagi and Kuroo’s first omega crush was gone.

At night he lay awake, looking into the darkness and thinking about the way his heart had been so heavy with want, relief and disappointment all at once. He remained slightly hopeful, cautiously optimistic that maybe from now on he wouldn’t notice alphas in the same way as before.

*

Kuroo was happy that for once he could talk to Bokuto about his crush without feeling like a freak of nature. Bokuto smiled at him with the same sincerity he always did.

“I can’t believe how gorgeous he was,” Kuroo said with a sigh. “Why does my only omega crush ever have to already be dating?”

“Life’s cruel,” Bokuto said sincerely and pat Kuroo’s back.

“Do you think that maybe I’m cured now?” Kuroo asked, desperate to get verification to his thoughts. “Do you think that maybe I just needed to find the right omega to be normal?”

Bokuto didn’t immediately say anything. Kuroo looked back at his friend. He was clearly thinking, and Kuroo wanted to know what he was thinking about. He suddenly needed reassurance, needed to know that Bokuto didn’t think ill of him. His mouth was dry and he was starting to feel sick.

“Kuroo,” Bokuto finally said and broke the silent spell that had kept Kuroo on edge. “Do you ever think that maybe you don’t have to change?”

Kuroo’s jaw dropped at the unexpected question.

“There must be others like you,” Bokuto continued. “Did you ever consider that?”

“That’s insane,” Kuroo said, his voice a loud whisper. “I’m sick in the head.”

Bokuto looked like he wanted to argue but stayed quiet. The look in his eyes wasn’t full of pity like Kuroo had expected. The way Bokuto looked at him was slightly sad.

“Do you regret having sex with me?” Bokuto then asked.

Kuroo didn’t understand what had prompted the question. Did Bokuto have regrets? Had Kuroo made him feel uncomfortable?

“Do you feel,” Bokuto continued before Kuroo’s head could take his thoughts too far, “that by sleeping with you I’m forcing you to be something you don’t really want to be?”

Kuroo opened his mouth but shut it. He had never thought about it. He had purposefully avoided thinking about what was going on between him and Bokuto to make sure he didn’t develop unnecessary feelings. Now that he was forced to think about it, his head felt like a mess, an endless swamp of thoughts and feelings that only confused him.

“I never thought about it,” he finally said honestly. “But I don’t think like that. I wouldn’t blame you for anything, anyway. It’s my own fault for saying yes if it turns out to bother me.”

“And now it doesn’t bother you?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo shook his head.

“Isn’t it amazing?” he said with a sorrowful laugh. “Because of you I can live my greatest fantasies that I’d never be able to experience without our agreement. You’re the best friend ever.”

Bokuto smiled, and in his eyes Kuroo could see that the answer had satisfied him. Kuroo leaned softly against Bokuto’s shoulder. The other alpha’s warmth was comforting.

“Do you want to fuck me and pretend I’m him?” Bokuto asked.

“What? No!” Kuroo exclaimed. “I don’t want to pretend.”

Bokuto laughed lightly.

“I want to kiss,” Kuroo said almost shyly, not quite certain if it was the right moment to ask.

“That sounds nice,” Bokuto said and turned Kuroo around.

Bokuto’s lips were plump and soft, and Kuroo wouldn’t have minded always kissing them.

*

When a training camp was announced Kuroo was anxious. He was glad that he could spend so much time with volleyball and Bokuto, but he also knew that Bokuto was adventurous. He was equally adventurous, so he always went along with Bokuto’s suggestions of getting off in the showers after practise or fucking in the locker room. He was always incredibly turned on by the danger of getting caught, but he couldn’t help feeling sick in the pit of his stomach when he thought about someone finding out.

Kuroo didn’t know how common it was for alphas to get each other off, and he was always prepared to save Bokuto’s reputation by taking the blame. He was ready to go as far as to say that he had forced Bokuto if it came to that.

When Karasuno arrived Kuroo did his best to not stare at Sugawara or otherwise act suspiciously. He greeted the alphas, and pretended like the omega who had been occupying his thoughts wasn’t there. When he eventually did turn to Sugawara, his greeting turned out to be much blunter than he had wanted to. He quickly turned away and prayed that his face wasn’t as red as it was hot.

In the gym Bokuto appeared next to Kuroo almost out of nowhere.

“So,” Bokuto said quietly. “I think it’s time to see your amazing omega.”

This time Kuroo knew he was blushing.

“It’s okay, man,” Bokuto laughed and pat Kuroo’s back. “Let’s pretend we’re exchanging information on the enemy. So. Tell me about the baldie. Hot or no deal?”

“Bokuto!” Kuroo tried to sound reprimanding but couldn’t help a laugh climbing up his throat. “He’s not exactly my type.”

Bokuto looked absolutely joyous over Kuroo playing his game and asked about each player one by one, until he reached Sugawara, who was standing by his team and looking slightly lost.

“He’s the only omega in the team,” Kuroo whispered.

Bokuto nodded in understanding.

“He’s cute,” the alpha said quietly. “Who is he dating?”

“The ridiculously hot captain,” Kuroo said and was surprised by how bitter his voice was.

“I’m sorry,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo shrugged.

“Can’t be helped,” he said. “But you know what you could do for me?”

Bokuto turned to look with raised eyebrows.

“You could suck me off in the bathroom during break,” Kuroo mumbled into his friend’s ear.

Bokuto shivered visibly, and Kuroo smiled at him.

“It’s a deal,” Bokuto said and laughed loudly before hopping away to his team.

*

Bokuto wasn’t exactly good at giving head, but Kuroo enjoyed his enthusiasm. Bokuto was sloppy and lacked any kind of technique, but he always got hard when sucking Kuroo, and he was always ready to do more. Kuroo did his best to both keep his hips from bucking into Bokuto’s mouth and stay quiet. They knew they were in a hurry, had to finish before someone came in.

Bokuto slurped loudly around Kuroo’s cock and Kuroo slapped a hand on his mouth to stop moans from spilling out. He breathed hard and looked down to Bokuto, whose eyes were focused on the tuft of hair above Kuroo’s cock. Kuroo reached down to take a hold of his cheeks, Bokuto’s face soft as he sucked so hard his cheeks hollowed.

“I thought about him last night,” Kuroo breathed.

Bokuto pulled off with a loud smack of his mouth. Kuroo shivered at the sound.

“The omega?” Bokuto asked, eyes glued to Kuroo’s when he took the thick cock back into his mouth.

“Yeah,” Kuroo moaned quietly. “I jerked off in the shower. I want to hear him moan my name.”

Bokuto groaned, the vibrations of his voice making Kuroo’s hips jump.

“Ah, shit, Koutarou,” Kuroo said with a strained voice. “I’m so close.”

Bokuto gave him a thumbs up and sucked just a bit more eagerly, hands finding support from Kuroo’s hips. Kuroo’s hands were sinking into his friend’s wild hair, fingers pressing onto the scalp and holding his head closer. Bokuto gave another groan, and Kuroo released in his mouth with a deep push of his hips that caused Bokuto to gag and push him away.

“Sorry,” Kuroo panted as Bokuto pulled away and spat the semen out of his mouth into the toilet. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Bokuto wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before standing up.

“You better,” he said with a smirk before pulling Kuroo’s head closer and sealing his lips over Kuroo’s.

The kiss tasted like sex and Kuroo groaned, hand reaching down to touch Bokuto’s cock and brushing his own knot on the way. His hips bucked and Bokuto pressed his groin closer to Kuroo’s touch.

“What do you want?” Kuroo asked before locking their lips together again.

Bokuto moaned into the kiss, both of them losing focus of their surroundings. Bokuto’s body was both soft and strong against Kuroo, and even though he had just come Kuroo was already wanting more.

“I want to fuck you tonight,” Bokuto mumbled against Kuroo’s lips.

“Don’t you want something now?” Kuroo asked.

Bokuto nibbled on Kuroo’s lower lip with his lips before gently pulling on it with his teeth.

“Just give me a hand,” he said. “I’m really close.”

Kuroo pulled Bokuto’s sweatpants down enough to reveal his wet cock. Bokuto’s underwear must have been ruined by all the pre-come, and Kuroo chuckled at the thought of Bokuto having to wear the soiled pants to practise. He slid his fingertips over the hard flesh, causing Bokuto to shiver and pull him closer.

Kuroo didn’t even have to try properly before he felt Bokuto’s knot forming under his fingers, and very soon the alpha came with a whimper. Kuroo tried to catch all of the semen onto his hand, but droplets of it were sliding down Bokuto’s cock and onto his pants.

“I need to go change,” Bokuto said while trying to quickly catch his breath.

“You do,” Kuroo smirked and kissed Bokuto one last time before letting go and wiping his hand with toilet paper.

*

Something about Bokuto was different, but Kuroo couldn’t quite figure out what it was. There was this new way that Bokuto looked at him, looked away and fidgeted at odd times.

After they happened to run into horny Sugawara on the evening of the second day, Kuroo was convinced that Bokuto had a crush on the omega. He didn’t know what to do with the information – after all Sugawara was spoken for, so he decided to let it be and wait for Bokuto to talk to him. There was nothing that really changed between them, they continued to sneak out to have sex together until the camp was over.

Kuroo often jerked off thinking about Sugawara. He thought about the scent of his arousal and how much it had turned him on, had made him want to pin the omega to the wall and fuck him hard until he was nothing more than whimpers of pleasure. Kuroo thought about Sugawara’s smile, how his hair moved with him and how his voice sometimes had a teasing edge to it, like he couldn’t contain that side of himself long enough to not let it show. He wondered what the omega would say if he knew. Would he call Kuroo names? Would he tell him he was disgusting for thinking about this, that he was a whore who just wanted to get laid? Kuroo came the hardest when he thought about pounding into the omega’s tight ass as he looked up with his gently piercing eyes and called him a slut.

Another thing that Kuroo thought about a lot was the way Sugawara and Sawamura had been fighting. He had sensed it, and that’s why he had heard the omega say “it hurts”, and that’s why he had ran. Bokuto and Akaashi had followed, although Kuroo didn’t know if they had heard too. It had made him angry and jealous, he wanted to turn around and growl at them to leave him be a hero by himself.

But Sugawara didn’t want a hero, and that’s why Kuroo felt that they would work. He wasn’t a hero. Deep down he was submissive, wanted to be told what to do, and Sugawara was the only omega he had ever met who he thought would be able to do that.

Kuroo tried to ask Bokuto about his feelings for Sugawara, but the alpha was good at avoiding the question. Every time they ended up with someone’s mouth on the other’s cock or Bokuto fucking Kuroo so hard his bed creaked.

*

When the second camp finally arrived Kuroo couldn’t help his excitement. He wanted to immediately get close to Sugawara to see if his crush was the lasting kind. He was also worried, about the usual stuff but also about seeing the omega. He wasn’t sure if he could really take another week of watching his impossible crush only have eyes for someone else.

Kuroo was surprised to see a new kind of coldness between the two mates, and he couldn’t help thinking this would be his best chance of making a move.

He didn’t.

At night Kuroo was lying awake. He had been trying to sleep for what felt like hours, but couldn’t shake the feelings that had been plaguing him all day. He eventually got up, moving slowly and quietly, and made his way to the locker room. He really needed to get off, he needed to take a moment to think about all the amazing details about Sugawara before he could calm down.

He nearly had a heart attack when the omega’s voice called out to him in the room as he was pulling his pants down. He struggled to get them back on before turning to look at the boy who was sitting on the floor at the end of the bench, back turned to him. Kuroo hesitated for a moment before approaching.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted. Maybe he just wanted to be in the omega’s company all alone for a while longer. Maybe he really genuinely wanted to know if there was something he could do, not as an alpha but as a friend. He looked at Sugawara, who was staring at the floor, only glancing at him quickly.

“Why won’t you leave me alone?” Suga asked.

Kuroo felt a twitch in his heart, but instead of letting it show he put on a smirk and said:

“Maybe I’m hoping to get into your pants.”

The omega was quiet, and Kuroo was sure he had just ruined any chance he may have had to get closer to Sugawara Koushi. He wanted to leave, to get up and walk away, but what kept him in place was the look on the omega’s face; he looked exhausted, kind of sad, and Kuroo was filled with the need to make things better.

“Hey for real,” he said. “Talk to me.”

Suga finally turned to look at him, and he smiled. He was hoping that his face was encouraging and didn’t reveal how much he wanted to bend forward to place his lips on Suga’s.

“I broke up with Daichi,” Suga said.

Kuroo had not expected that. He had not expected it so much it took him totally off guard, and he thought that his brain would melt and never properly work again. His heart was beating faster, his senses heightened as he smelled Suga’s scent, sweet and inviting, and now there was no reason for him to hold back.

He held back. When Suga said he already had someone in mind, Kuroo wished he hadn’t. He should have taken his chance to kiss the one omega he had ever wanted, because now it was too late.

“Figures,” he said as his heart was slowly breaking in half. “The one time I find a cute omega I’m interested in he already has someone else in mind.”

Suga smiled at him. It was a friendly smile, and it made Kuroo’s heart ache even more. The final blow was learning that Suga’s crush was Bokuto.

“It’s fucking Bokuto,” Kuroo mumbled, mostly to himself, and decided to stop thinking.

If he never thought again he wouldn’t feel the pain either. He put on a smile and talked about Bokuto like it was nothing.

When Suga suddenly revealed a vulnerable side to him, Kuroo wasn’t sure how to react. He had always thought that the omega was naturally strong, and hearing him talk so dismissively about himself was terrible. He couldn’t stop reaching out a hand to place on Suga’s shoulder. The omega didn’t seem to mind, and Kuroo was ecstatic over the slight physical contact they were having.

“Why do you like me?” Suga asked, and Kuroo had to blink a couple of times to gather his thoughts.

What came out of his mouth sounded boring to him. He wanted to say so much more, wanted to really make the omega see how he felt, but he didn’t know how to express it. What he said, however, was enough to make Suga blush and hide his face behind his hands.

Kuroo reached out to pull the hands off the omega’s face.

“It makes me sad that you don’t think more highly of yourself,” he said, and Suga smiled at him.

During the conversation they had gotten closer to each other, and now that Kuroo was still holding Suga’s hands by the wrists they were so close that Kuroo could feel the omega’s breaths on his face. They were so close it would be easy to simply give in to temptation, brush his mouth against Suga’s parted lips and taste the feelings that were bouncing around in his chest. His heart beat faster when Suga leaned closer, he heard the omega take a breath and wondered what message his scent was sending.

“I’m only interested in your body,” Suga said, as if to reassure both of them that their attraction was meaningless compared to the deeper feelings that Kuroo had.

“I don’t know how Bokuto would feel if he found out,” Kuroo said. “Assuming that you’re going to confess to him.”

When he saw how Suga hesitated at that, he wanted to kick himself. He pulled away to calm down, took a deep breath, and suddenly he thought of something that would give him one more chance to get physically close to Suga.

“Have you ever thought of a threesome?” he asked.

*

Being so close to Suga and his enchanting scent must have messed with Kuroo’s head. When he stepped out of the locker room to head to Fukurodani’s room he wanted to punch himself in the face. Suga probably thought that he was a sex-crazed idiot who only wanted to get laid, and he had accidentally outed himself and Bokuto as fuckbuddies. He could only hope that Suga was discreet enough to not mention it to Bokuto.

When he reached the room he slowly opened the door and peeked in. The lights were out and everyone was fast asleep. He left the door slightly ajar to have a thin slither of light show him the way to Bokuto who was sleeping on his stomach and breathing heavily. Kuroo smiled at his friend and had to supress a snicker. He crouched down next to the sleeping boy and stroked his back and hair before giving a slight shake.

Bokuto made a noise, half awake, half asleep, and Kuroo placed a finger on his lips to hopefully make him understand to keep his voice down. Bokuto slowly opened his eyes and looked at Kuroo, blinking heavily.

“What?” he asked sleepily.

Kuroo hushed him and pulled him up, walking him to the corridor while holding his hand. He closed the door behind them and they stepped a small distance away to make sure no one would be disturbed by them.

“You need to wake up right now,” Kuroo said quietly.

“I believe someone just woke me up,” Bokuto said grumpily and rubbed his eyes.

“I need you, Koutarou,” Kuroo said.

The use of his first name made Bokuto shoot a pointed look at Kuroo.

“You’re not serious,” he said and yawned. “It’s the middle of the night! I was having a good dream!”

“Please, Koutarou,” Kuroo said with a whine. “I can’t stop thinking about him. I need help.”

“Why can’t you just deal with it on your own?” Bokuto asked but was already headed towards the locker room.

“You know I always want more when I have a chance for it,” Kuroo said and took a hold of Bokuto’s arm. “You’re so good to me.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere,” Bokuto said with a huff but pressed slightly closer to Kuroo.

Bokuto must have been able to tell how nervous Kuroo was, how his heart was beating fast and probably irregular, how his arousal was mixed with anxiety of his plan failing completely. Kuroo glanced at Bokuto who looked completely normal, although slightly tired, and maybe that’s why it was a surprise for Bokuto to see Sugawara in the locker room.

“Surprise!” Kuroo exclaimed as if this was something he did all the time.

Like this wasn’t making his knees buckle under his weight.

Bokuto turned to look at him, face pale and eyes wide. The gold of his irises was piercing as he stared at Kuroo, and Kuroo knew that he had been right about Bokuto’s feelings. He tried to remain calm, tried to not show any hesitation, although a part of him wanted to turn around and escape. When Bokuto turned to look at Suga again, he took a step back and locked the door.

“Aren’t you dating Sawamura?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo was so nervous he was getting giddy.

“We broke up,” Suga said, voice sultry and eyes openly glued to Bokuto. “I’m lonely and horny.”

“It’s true,” Kuroo confirmed. “You can smell it too, can’t you? The intoxicating scent of a needy omega.”

Something inside Bokuto snapped, but Kuroo was slightly disappointed to see that it still wasn’t enough to make him move. He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, making Suga hesitant, and Kuroo couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled his shirt off with all the confidence he could summon and stepped forward.

“Let me show you the way,” he said with confidence and wondered how much it amused Bokuto to know they had equally little experience with sex.

Kuroo was already hard and the way Suga looked at his body appraisingly made his cock ache with want. He wanted all the attention on himself, at least for a moment, at least now that he was still a part of this. Suga stripped out of his pants that were stained with slick, and Kuroo groaned at the scent of absolute filth.

“Can I suck your cock?” he asked, not caring how it probably made him seem like a creep.

Seeing Suga spread his legs for him made Kuroo nearly whimper. He stepped forward and sank on his knees, spreading the legs farther apart. Suga’s thighs were soft and his skin smooth, small cock standing erect and entrance glistening with slick. Kuroo stroked the thighs for a moment, taking in the sight he had never thought he would see, when he felt Bokuto sit down to the bench next to Suga.

Just like that Kuroo was forgotten as Suga turned to Bokuto. Kuroo looked at Bokuto’s dripping cock, suddenly very much aware of how much bigger it looked compared to his. Bokuto was slow, most likely just as amazed as he was at this opportunity, and when he kissed Suga Kuroo missed the feeling of those lips on his.

Instead of wallowing in his feelings of abandonment Kuroo focused on the cock in front of him and took it in his mouth. Sucking an omega’s cock was entirely different from sucking an alpha’s cock; the taste of omega pre-come, the scent of his slick mixing with the scent of his body were driving Kuroo out of his mind. It only took one suck for Suga to release already, and Kuroo eagerly lapped up every drop of it. He bobbed his head up and down, feeling Suga’s legs tense around his head, and it was amazing how he could take his entire cock into his mouth.

Kuroo pulled off and looked at Bokuto and Suga still kissing, mouths open and tongues in each other’s mouths. He looked back down. Suga’s cock was twitching, and so was his entrance. Kuroo kept his eyes on the glistening pucker as he lowered his head to kiss the soft thighs around his head, to gently suck on the perfect skin as he heard the kiss above him. He pushed Suga’s legs properly apart again and circled the slicky entrance with his tongue.

Suga moaned into the kiss, his voice raw and needy, and Kuroo’s cock was aching so bad he had to take a moment to breathe before returning to his task. Tasting Suga’s slick wrenched his heart. He wasn’t even sure what the reason was at this point, all he knew was that it tasted like sex and he wanted more. He licked and sucked on the sensitive skin before finally pushing the tip of his tongue past the tight muscle. Suga’s moans were filling the air around them, and Kuroo never wanted for the moment to end.

“You taste so good,” he said and licked his lips when he pulled off.

“I want to taste too,” Bokuto said as he perked up and looked down.

Kuroo looked away and got up to make room for Bokuto, who eagerly took his spot between Suga’s legs. Kuroo couldn’t help the flinch of jealousy at the sight. He sat down next to Suga and turned the omega to cling to him as Bokuto rimmed him. It wasn’t the kind of attention he wanted from the omega, but it was close enough. It was all he could get.

When Suga was getting close again he pulled Kuroo closer and pressed his face to the crook of the alpha’s neck. Kuroo’s heart skipped a beat at the feeling of Suga’s breaths on his neck, how the omega pressed close to his body as Bokuto pulled his second orgasm out of him.

Suga took a moment to calm down. Kuroo didn’t want to let him go, but didn’t allow it to show. Bokuto had a splat of semen on his nose, and Kuroo bent down to lick it off with a smile. Bokuto looked like he wanted to kiss, but Kuroo pretended not to notice. It was time for him to start pushing Suga and Bokuto closer together while also take what he had wanted right from the beginning.

“Can you stand up?” Kuroo asked, and Suga stood up on uncertain legs.

Bokuto was now seated on the bench, looking at the two of them in anticipation. Kuroo turned Suga to face Bokuto and bent him down, guiding Suga to lean onto Bokuto for support.

When Kuroo spread the omega’s ass cheeks apart to reveal the twitching entrance that was glistening with slick, he suddenly realised he had no idea how omegas had to be prepared for penetration. He swallowed once before asking Suga if he needed anything, and nearly sighed in relief when the omega told him to just go in.

Suga was tight, and Kuroo’s chest felt heavy as he pushed his cock in through the slick. It was tighter than Bokuto had ever been, and Kuroo went at it hard right from the beginning, unable to stop his nature from taking over as he pushed his cock deep inside Suga’s tight hole. His hands were holding Suga’s hips, so small under his splayed fingers, and he grunted at the thought of being bigger than the omega.

“Fuck,” he whispered past his clenched teeth and continued his harsh thrusts.

Suga was moaning, insides tightening around Kuroo, and Kuroo felt so good he wanted to cry. He was pulling Suga’s hips against him with each thrust, enjoying the way he could so easily move the body below him.

When Kuroo felt his knot starting to form he wondered how much Suga would hate him if he didn’t pull out. He rode the omega until he had to pull out to not get stuck, and released his load onto Suga’s narrow back. He came a lot more than he usually did, hand working over his knot until he was empty, and taking his last chance to cop a feel of Suga’s round ass.

Kuroo lifted Suga onto Bokuto’s lap and spread his cheeks apart. He guided Bokuto’s cock in Suga’s ass, knowing that it was the last time he would be touching either of them like this. He wiped Suga’s back clean as the omega was feverishly rolling his hips and bouncing on Bokuto’s lap.

“You better fuck him good,” Kuroo said.

“You doubt I won’t?” Bokuto asked with a breathy laugh.

Kuroo smirked.

“I know you’ll make him very happy.”

Bokuto started to move, and Kuroo looked at them for a moment before turning around to look for his clothes. He pulled them on quickly and quietly, and when he was certain that Bokuto and Suga were completely focused on each other he sneaked out of the room.

He should have gone to bed, but he was fidgety so he headed out. He walked around the school grounds for a moment before deciding he really should go to bed, and went back in. He couldn’t help wondering if Bokuto and Suga were already finished or still going at it.

Kuroo sighed and turned the corner to face a scene he had never expected to face; Akaashi and Kenma were kissing. Kuroo froze to the spot, eyes glued to how Kenma’s hands were holding Akaashi’s shoulders like he meant everything at that moment, Akaashi’s fingers peeking through Kenma’s hair, how Akaashi’s eyes opened and he directed a discontent gaze at him.

Akaashi’s eyes were dangerous and clearly telling him to back off, but Kuroo couldn’t move. He let out a silly squeak, and in a flash Kenma had turned around, face going pale and eyes terrified.

“It’s just me,” Kuroo said with a weak voice.

This didn’t seem to help Kenma at all. The alpha was standing still, shock all over his face, and Kuroo didn’t think he had ever seen his friend like this before.

“I’ll forget about this, okay?” Kuroo offered and finally managed to turn around.

“Kuro,” Kenma said with a weak voice before Kuroo had taken even one step.

Kenma didn’t immediately continue so Kuroo turned around to look at him.

“Please, don’t tell anyone,” Kenma said.

“Of course I won’t,” Kuroo said, somewhat disheartened by the fact that his friend thought it necessary to even ask.

Kenma’s eyes seemed unusually piercing as he continued to look at Kuroo with a blank face.

“Who did you just have sex with?” Kenma asked then.

“No one,” Kuroo replied, knowing full well that his answer was too quick and voice too sharp to be believable.

Kenma continued to look at him for a while longer before turning back to Akaashi. He took a hold of the omega’s hand, fingers soft and searching, and Kuroo left before Akaashi said whatever it was he was clearly going to say.

*

Kuroo wanted to tell the world that he had no regrets over getting his best friend and his first ever omega crush together. He wanted to believe himself when he said that it was for the best and he was really happy to see the two exchange glances and their faces light up when they saw each other. However, there was no way to deny the fact that it hurt.

Kuroo did his best to keep a carefree smile on his face, but once dinner was over he headed out. He walked a good distance away in the cool evening before turning a corner and sitting down, back leaning against the wall and eyes looking up to the dark sky. He didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to feel.

Staring at the calm sky helped his heart settle down.

“Kuro,” Kenma said, startling him.

Kuroo looked at his friend who was standing right by his side, looking down to him from behind his hair. Kenma sat down.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Kuroo glanced to the sky before looking back to Kenma.

“My heart is broken,” he said.

“You’re always so dramatic,” Kenma replied, but his voice was compassionate.

Kuroo stayed quiet. He wasn’t sure how to properly explain his feelings without outing himself.

“Bokuto is dating Sugawara from Karasuno,” he finally said.

“Bokuto won’t stop being your friend just because he has a mate now,” Kenma said.

“It’s not about Bokuto,” Kuroo said, but then added, “at least not completely.”

Kenma looked at him, and then his eyes widened in realisation. Kuroo sighed.

“I really liked him,” he said. “Ever since our joint practise I’ve been thinking about him.”

Kenma placed his hand softly onto Kuroo’s shoulder, and that’s what broke Kuroo’s restraint. Kenma had never been a physical person, maintaining a distance even when they were close, and this simple gesture of affection made Kuroo’s heart ache. He did his best to keep breathing steadily but a single tear escaped his eye, slowly dripping down his cheek.

“It will hurt for a while,” Kenma said, squeezing Kuroo’s shoulder slightly but not letting go.

Kuroo nodded jerkily and wiped his eyes with fists.

“How long have you been seeing Akaashi?” Kuroo asked to move the focus away from himself.

Kenma looked down, his hair dropping to hide his face from view.

“A few months,” he said quietly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kuroo asked. “Why are you keeping it a secret?”

“I don’t want anyone to know,” Kenma said.

“Why?” Kuroo insisted.

“They’ll think I don’t deserve him,” Kenma said.

Kuroo opened his mouth but couldn’t say anything. Instead he took a hold of Kenma’s hand, and Kenma didn’t pull away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this could be so much better executed, but I've been writing for days and I'm just. At that point that if I don't publish I should take a few days before looking at this again. So I'm publishing, because while it might not be up to my standards the story is still there and also I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who has real complaints.
> 
> I have to say I'm surprised that no one ever commented on my hinted akaken on Please, Please Me, but here's a less subtle hint.


	3. About Yuuji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken me too long to write and now it's past midnight so I hope everything makes sense.

There must be a way to cure this, Kuroo thought to himself as he sat down in front of the computer and started searching. He was alone at home to prevent his parents from walking in on him. He still felt awful typing his problem to the search and seeing how it immediately showed millions of results.

Kuroo took a deep breath before taking a look at the sites he had found. The very first one seemed reassuring, called “Gay Alpha Support”, yet he was still hesitant to click on the link.

Kuroo did eventually gather his courage and spent the rest of the day reading.

It was confusing, to say the least. Kuroo had always been certain about him being flawed in the worst way possible, but now he had found a big community of people who were just like him – and accepted themselves. Kuroo had thought that he was in need of a cure, yet now he saw thousands of people saying that he was allowed to be this way.

He was allowed to like alphas.

He thought about the one time that Bokuto had told him something similar, and wondered why it hadn’t been enough. If his best friend supported him, why wasn’t it enough?

Kuroo tried to ignore all the obvious answers his head was sprouting at him: respect of the community, dying alone because no one would be interested and he couldn’t have babies, always having to hide his true identity… The list went on and on. He didn’t know how all these people had been able to establish their life in spite of being so different, but he now felt small ray of hope that maybe one day he could do that too.

*

Bokuto was visiting. They had been doing homework until Bokuto got fidgety and Kuroo got tired of trying to focus with Bokuto distracting him.

Kuroo was lying close to Bokuto, suddenly aware of the fact that the air around them was different. It had gotten less easy now that there were limits, now that he knew that he couldn’t just kiss Bokuto when he felt like it, that Bokuto wouldn’t pull him onto his lap to lick his way into his mouth just because it was more fun than studying.

He turned his back to Bokuto to disguise his gloom. He felt like his friend had slipped away, so far away from him, and what was left was a cold breeze where there used to be warmth. Kuroo wanted to wrap into himself and disappear.

“Hey, Tetsurou,” Bokuto started, but Kuroo didn’t let him continue.

“Don’t,” he said, but his voice broke.

He heard Bokuto sit up.

“What’s wrong?” the alpha asked.

Kuroo tried to fight tears. He tried to swallow the lump that had risen to his throat, but he only felt his Adam’s apple bob and the lump remained.

“Don’t call me by my first name,” Kuroo whispered.

He heard the irregularity in Bokuto’s breath but didn’t know what it meant. Bokuto shuffled closer.

“What’s going on, _Tetsurou_?” Bokuto asked, making sure to emphasize the name.

Kuroo squeaked in his throat.

“Come on,” Bokuto tried, his voice pouting as he gently poked Kuroo’s ribs.

Kuroo couldn’t speak without the lump tearing down his last defences, so he remained quiet. Bokuto sighed and lay down next to Kuroo, pulling him into his arms and spooning him with his strong body.

“What’s wrong?” Bokuto asked again.

Kuroo sniffled and Bokuto hugged him tighter.

“Tell me, Tetsurou,” Bokuto said, voice gentle. “I don’t want you to be sad.”

Kuroo tried to breathe steadily, but his body was rippling with sadness.

“I miss you,” he managed before sobs muffled his voice.

“I’m right here,” Bokuto replied, but Kuroo shook his head.

“I miss being with you so easily and so physically,” he clarified, although his voice was such a mess he wasn’t sure that Bokuto could understand what he was saying.

“I’m still here,” Bokuto said and nuzzled his nose against Kuroo’s nape. “I know it’s different, but I’m still here.”

Kuroo was tired. He felt like Bokuto didn’t understand, but he didn’t want to keep explaining. He sniffled loudly when Bokuto let go and sat up, thinking that he was going to leave, but Bokuto took a hold of his shoulder and gently turned him around before lying down next to him again.

“Come here, Tetsurou,” Bokuto said and pulled Kuroo against his body.

Bokuto’s body was warm and familiar, and Kuroo let his tears flow and soak into Bokuto’s shirt.

“I’m staying the night,” Bokuto said.

“But you don’t even have your pyjamas,” Kuroo sobbed against Bokuto’s chest.

“That’s why I have some extra clothes here,” Bokuto replied, reminding Kuroo of the fact that he had, indeed, had a set of Bokuto’s clothes in his closet ever since they had started spending more time together.

Bokuto allowed Kuroo to cry, his big hand stroking Kuroo’s hair in a soothing manner, until the alpha started to calm down.

“I’m sorry I made you lie on the floor like this,” Kuroo mumbled against Bokuto’s chest.

Bokuto chuckled gently and kissed Kuroo’s forehead.

*

Kuroo had been spending a lot of time on the Gay Alpha forums, reading about people’s experiences, about their daily lives and how they had built a family in spite of being different. He had been too scared to write anything himself – he was already paranoid about having registered to the forum. He had, however, now reached a point of frustration that was driving him out of his comfort zone.

It had been several weeks since the training camp, meaning that it had been several weeks and a week more since he had last had sex. Kuroo had gotten used to getting laid regularly with Bokuto, so the change was noticeable.

Today was especially hard. He had jerked off in the shower before going to school, but had been fidgety all day, even thinking about getting off in the bathrooms during school. When he had gotten home he had tried jerking off again, but when he closed his eyes he could only think about either Bokuto or Suga, and thinking about them when he had his hand on his cock didn’t feel right.

With a sigh Kuroo pulled his pants back up to his hips and sat up. He needed someone to take his mind off his best friend and his mate. He opened his computer and headed to the forums that had gotten so familiar to him. In the section where people were searching other people for friendship or hooking up he posted a short description of himself.

After clicking send dread took over Kuroo, and he went to lie on his bed, head buried into the pillow. The hum of the computer didn’t leave him alone, and eventually he got up to return to the machine.

He was surprised to already see a couple of messages, and after a moment’s hesitation he opened his inbox. Two of the messages were blatant suggestions for hooking up for sex, and while that was what Kuroo had been secretly hoping for, they made his skin crawl and he deleted them.

There was one message that didn’t immediately appear creepy. It was written by a user whose icon was of an open mouth with a tongue sticking out and teeth playing with a silver piercing.

“You seem cool and I feel like we would have a lot in common! I’d love to chat sometimes.”

It was signed with the name Yuuji, and something about the entire message made Kuroo’s heart skip a beat. He reminded himself that “Yuuji” could very well be a creep who was out there to destroy the lives of innocent teenagers, while his fingers were already typing a response.

*

Yuuji soon became a person of importance to Kuroo. They were around the same age and could easily relate to each other. They were both athletes, and after hesitating for a bit over a week Kuroo had revealed that he was a volleyball player. To his amazement Yuuji played volleyball too, and it became another thing for them to bond over. It didn’t take very long for Kuroo to accept Yuuji’s suggestion of exchanging phone numbers, and after that they were in contact daily.

Talking to Yuuji over the phone had made Kuroo feel better, because now he could hear that the other alpha was really a young boy instead of a middle aged stalker. Yuuji’s trust of Kuroo grew even quicker than Kuroo’s trust of him, and eventually Kuroo found out that Yuuji lived in Miyagi.

Kuro: _How the hell do you happen to live there._

Yuuji: _???????_

Kuro: _The only omega I ever liked lives in Miyagi too._

Yuuji: _Ahahaha that’s interesting!_

Yuuji: _If you visit him sometime then maybe you’d like to visit me too~_

Kuro: _His bf is my best friend so probably not._

Kuro: _I wouldn’t mind visiting you_ , _though_.

Flirting with Yuuji over the phone was exciting and made Kuroo smile like a maniac. He found himself eagerly waiting to hear from the alpha every day.

*

It was a weekend when Bokuto wasn’t busy or visiting Suga, and Kuroo looked forward to spending time with his friend. They greeted with a hug and Bokuto smacked a kiss on Kuroo’s cheek. Kuroo blushed and cursed himself for having become such a wimp after Bokuto started dating.

They settled in Bokuto’s room and looked at each other in silent agreement to not even bother with homework yet. Instead Bokuto immediately asked about Yuuji, who Kuroo had told him about.

“Do you have a picture of him?” Bokuto asked.

Kuroo’s cheeks and neck heated up at the thought of some of the pictures Yuuji had sent him.

“Oh they’re naughty pictures,” Bokuto immediately smirked.

“Not all that naughty,” Kuroo replied and took out his phone.

He hadn’t seen Yuuji’s face yet, and hadn’t sent a picture of his face either. While he felt that Yuuji was who he claimed to be he was still too scared to reveal his identity. If Yuuji really was into volleyball, he might have recognised Kuroo’s face and outed him either accidentally or on purpose.

Kuroo chose a picture where Yuuji had his shirt off and his tongue sticking out. It was most likely the source of his profile picture too.

“He has a pierced tongue?” Bokuto immediately noted. “That’s so cool! Do you think it makes a difference for blowjobs?”

“How would I know,” Kuroo responded, his cheeks so hot they must have been flaming red.

“Ask him,” Bokuto suggested.

“How would he know when he’s the one with the piercing and not the one receiving?” Kuroo pointed out.

Bokuto bit his lip in thought.

“From the reactions?” Bokuto said hesitantly, but then immediately continued, “do you have more pictures?”

Kuroo showed him a picture of Yuuji’s back. He had no shirt on, but the picture cut at his hips so you couldn’t tell if he was wearing anything at all. Kuroo, of course, knew that he was wearing some sinfully tight briefs, because Yuuji had later sent him the full version of it. You could see the back of his head just enough to know that he had an undercut and blond hair.

“His ears are pierced too?” Bokuto noticed. “He’s so cool!”

Kuroo chuckled and tried to appear less embarrassed than he was feeling. He almost wished that Yuuji had sent him some clothed pictures.

“So what kinds of pictures have you sent him?” Bokuto asked and Kuroo’s face could have just as well caught fire, his cheeks were burning so hot.

“I see,” Bokuto nodded with a triumphant smile as Kuroo averted his eyes and coughed to mask his embarrassment. “Why are you so shy? It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”

Kuroo almost choked on air as he tried to speak.

“It’s different,” he managed to say. “I never tried to present myself to you suggestively. Not to mention that you’re dating now.”

Bokuto nodded slowly and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I see,” he said. “That reminds me I have something to ask you.”

“What?” Kuroo asked, but Bokuto remained quiet.

Bokuto was hesitating more than usual, and Kuroo couldn’t help wondering if their friendship was over after all. Maybe their deal of casual sex had been a bad idea all along that was now slowly ripping them apart.

He shook his head to his thoughts. No, that wasn’t true. But maybe he had been avoiding the truth about his feelings. Maybe he _had_ felt more than friendship towards Bokuto, maybe he had fallen.

Bokuto uncrossing his arms drew Kuroo’s attention back to him.

“Suga wanted to know if you’d be interested in a threesome,” Bokuto said, and for a moment Kuroo was certain that his heart would stop beating altogether.

“He,” Kuroo started but didn’t know how to continue. “What?”

Bokuto looked him straight in the eyes.

“He wants to watch us fuck,” Bokuto said calmly. “Or I’m not sure if he wants that specifically, but he wants to watch us do something together.”

Kuroo was blinking. He felt like his brain had shut down and wasn’t computing any of Bokuto’s words.

“So, you know,” Bokuto said almost shyly. “I shouldn’t say this but I’ve missed us being physical too. I wouldn’t mind doing it once more.”

Kuroo’s throat felt dry and he swallowed several times to gain some kind of control over his body.

“What’s upsetting you?” Bokuto asked when Kuroo’s eyes started to tear up.

Kuroo blinked the tears away and took a deep breath to calm his emotions.

“I’m just,” he said and cleared his throat when his voice cracked. “I’m afraid that I’ll feel like an outsider.”

“Tetsurou,” Bokuto said and took a hold of Kuroo’s hand.

Kuroo waited for Bokuto to continue, but the boy stayed silent. His silence was loud, his eyes roaming Kuroo’s face and brows furrowed, lips moving slightly as if he was tasting different words on his tongue before rejecting them as inappropriate. His face said a lot, and Kuroo wasn’t sure if he wanted to see it all.

“Clearly you think that could happen too,” Kuroo said and looked down.

Bokuto’s warm hands held his own in a tighter grip.

“I don’t think that at all,” Bokuto said. “I just don’t know what to say to make you feel comfortable with me again.”

Kuroo looked at his friend with a confused frown.

“I am comfortable with you,” he said.

Bokuto shook his head.

“Tetsurou,” he said fondly. “You’re my best friend. You can’t possibly think that I don’t notice the change.”

Kuroo thought about it. He knew there was the new awkwardness in the way they were together, but he had hoped that Bokuto didn’t notice. He had hoped that it was all in his head.

“I miss touching you too,” Bokuto said. “It feels like the rules of our friendship have changed and I don’t like the way that feels, but we both knew it was going to happen eventually.”

“Maybe I was hoping it would never happen,” Kuroo whispered, but continued with a louder voice before Bokuto could say anything. “I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon. And with Suga of all people.”

“I knew it!” Bokuto exclaimed. “I knew it bothered you, and that’s why I didn’t want to-”

“Koutarou,” Kuroo interrupted loudly. “I will not allow you to feel bad because I had a crush on him too. He liked you so much right from the beginning, how could I have just ignored the way you both were clearly pining for each other?”

Bokuto blushed and his eyes were shining.

“I love you, Tetsurou,” he said with a weak voice and shiny eyes, and pulled Kuroo into a hug.

Kuroo hugged him back, arms wrapped tightly around his bulky frame.

“If you promise me it’s going to be a good time for me, I’ll do it. I’ll do the threesome,” Kuroo said against Bokuto’s shoulder.

“I promise!” Bokuto said. “And you need to promise that if you’re not comfortable you’ll say so.”

Kuroo nodded against Bokuto’s neck and smiled slightly. Bokuto was his best friend for a reason.

*

Kuroo was desperate. He had thought he was desperate before, but back then he hadn’t been messaging with Bokuto to agree on how they should play out the threesome without making anyone feel unwanted. As the day drew closer Kuroo’s frustration grew. He was itching to touch himself but a part of him kept telling him he would get laid soon. He would get his satisfaction soon. The more desperate he was the better it would feel.

Kuroo was going over their conversations in his head, reminding himself of the rules they had set. Bokuto didn’t have all that many restrictions, only that Kuroo shouldn’t have penetrative sex with Suga or touch his cock. He could do that. He was mostly just looking forward to having sex, having someone touch him. Even if Suga didn’t consent to everything he and Bokuto had been talking about, he would at least get to kiss, and even that was good, even that was a touch and it would be perfect.

When the doorbell finally rang on the agreed time, Kuroo’s heart was beating like crazy. It was thumping in his chest so heavy he wasn’t sure he would be physically capable of doing anything. He took a deep breath before opening the door to put on his usual smirk.

When they got to Kuroo’s room, Bokuto immediately sat down on the bed, but Kuroo remained hovering between Suga and the door. He wasn’t sure how to get started, and he didn’t know how much Bokuto and Suga had discussed what was about to happen. He was actually relieved when he realised how nervous Suga was. What he didn’t expect, however, was what the omega told them.

“I never got to call the shots,” he said.

Kuroo looked at Bokuto with his brows raised and saw that this was new information to his friend as well. He also saw the look of utmost admiration and caring in Bokuto’s eyes, and it gave him a sickening feeling. He fought through it and sat down next to Suga, trying to ignore how Bokuto was touching his boyfriend.

Once they had determined what was going to happen Kuroo left the room to get some towels. He stopped for a while to stand in the bathroom, clean towels in his hands, and took a look in the mirror.

“You can do this, man,” he told his image quietly. “You’ve made it this far. Ignore everything else, only focus on Bokuto.”

He took one last deep breath before returning to the room that now had a clear scent of a turned-on omega in the air. He still couldn’t understand what it was about Suga’s scent that got to him, when he had never felt this way about another omega. He quickly handed a towel to the omega and spread a couple onto his bed.

“Is it weird if I take my clothes off?” Suga asked, snapping Kuroo’s attention back to him.

He and Bokuto shook their heads at the same time, and if he wasn’t so incredibly aroused at that moment he would have laughed at how comical they must have looked. Suga removed his clothes in the least erotic manner, but there was something enchanting about the way his skin was revealed. When he pulled off his pants his small cock stood up towards his belly, and Kuroo licked his lips with the memory of sucking the member and tasting Suga’s come.

“Maybe pretend I’m not here?” Suga said, pointedly looking at both of the alphas.

Kuroo turned to look at Bokuto, who simultaneously turned to look at him. Kuroo couldn’t help the smirk forming on his face, thinking about all the things he would get to do with Bokuto again. They started with a kiss to appear slightly less hungry, their lips brushing together, but Kuroo couldn’t help wanting Bokuto out of his clothes. With their shirts removed it was warmer, their kiss deeper and hands feeling their way over skin. Bokuto slid his hands down to Kuroo’s hips, and Kuroo loved feeling them there, holding him in place without applying any force.

When Bokuto started opening Kuroo’s jeans, Kuroo glanced at Suga, who was sitting on a chair across the room. The omega had a glassy look in his eyes, hands pressed into fists resting on his thighs and chest heaving with how hard he was breathing. Bokuto’s fingers brushing over Kuroo’s cock turned his attention back to what was going on, and he stood up to get rid of the jeans.

“Hey, Koutarou,” he said breathily, looking down to Bokuto who remained on the bed. “Get up.”

Bokuto smirked and stood up. His hands fell onto Kuroo’s hips again, warm and strong, and Kuroo shuddered at the feeling. He quickly opened Bokuto’s trousers and pulled them down along with his underwear. Bokuto was half hard, an amazing achievement thinking back to when they had previously slept together. Sometimes Bokuto got hard from just kissing, and Kuroo was pleased to now have the opportunity to tease him into full erection.

“Nervous much?” he whispered to Bokuto who swallowed in response.

Kuroo kneeled down, bringing his face to the same level as Bokuto’s cock. He took a moment to look at it, take in the shape and colour, smell the beginning arousal. He took it in his hand and felt the velvety skin, the heat and weight of it against his palm before he licked along it, slow and teasing. He looked up at Bokuto whose eyes had closed, and he focused on teasing the tip with his tongue until Bokuto was fully hard.

When Bokuto’s hand sunk into his hair, Kuroo took his cock into his mouth and sucked hard. Bokuto pulled on his hair, and he enjoyed the slight burn on his scalp as he continued to work the cock, head bobbing up and down. He continued until Bokuto pulled him away by his hair.

Their eyes locked and Bokuto chuckled quietly, slapping Kuroo’s cheek lightly. While Kuroo may never have shared all of his fantasies with Bokuto, he had always been unable to hide the fact that humiliation and being forced to submit were a big turn-on for him. Bokuto pulled him back up and their lips crashed against each other, Bokuto’s taste strong and familiar.

Kuroo’s cock was painfully hard, aching to be touched, and he knew that next he would get what he wanted. He dropped onto the bed and spread his legs, looking expectantly at Bokuto. Very soon Bokuto’s big hands would be on him, he would feel the touch of his friend like he had so many times before.

But Bokuto didn’t move.

“Come on, Koutarou,” he said with a hint of a command in his voice, yet Bokuto stayed still.

Their eyes were locked, and Bokuto’s face was annoying Kuroo.

“Come on already,” he tried again, pleading with his eyes to be touched, but Bokuto simply stared at him in return.

“Take your pants off,” Bokuto said, and the calmness of his voice made chills run down Kuroo’s spine.

Kuroo couldn’t remember a time when Bokuto would have taken up such a calm and dominant front, and his heart was beating faster, his cock was leaking pre-come, and he was sure that if the situation continued long enough he would come in his pants without Bokuto ever having to touch him. He looked at Bokuto’s face and removed his underwear, throwing them off the bed and spreading his legs again.

“Well?” he asked.

A part of him was hoping that Bokuto had had enough of his show of dominance and would turn back to his eager self, who was always hands-on and ready to go whenever Kuroo wanted, because his cock was starting to hurt with how hard he was. He was desperate for release, and he knew that Bokuto could see it. Bokuto could see that he was ready to snap, he wouldn’t be able to wait any longer. He needed what he had been waiting for.

Bokuto was staring down at him, and Kuroo bit his lip to stop it from trembling. He suddenly remembered Suga’s presence in the room, and wondered if this was Bokuto’s way of showing his mate what a good alpha he was. Maybe Bokuto was simply using Kuroo to make himself look more desirable.

Kuroo mentally shook his head at the thought. He knew Bokuto, and the alpha would never use his friends to make himself look better. This must have been all for Kuroo. This must have been something that Bokuto knew he wanted, maybe had known for a long time but never had the courage to act on it until now that it was the last time they would get to be together.

“Shit, Koutarou!” Kuroo yelled so loud that his voice cracked at the edges.

The look in Bokuto’s eyes showed him that the alpha knew he wasn’t only frustrated by the lack of touching. Bokuto knew what he was thinking, and Kuroo was thankful that he was already flushed with arousal or it would have become apparent how embarrassed he felt. He felt Bokuto’s mind connect with his own, and he loved his friend so much, so much that it hurt, and if he wasn’t so desperately waiting to get laid he would have allowed himself to crumble into tears and sob a love confession to his best friend in front of his boyfriend.

“You know what I want,” Bokuto said.

Yes, Kuroo knew what Bokuto was waiting for. He knew everything right now, but he didn’t want to lose sight of what was in front of him. He wanted to keep looking, wanted to burn the image of Bokuto looking at him with his arms crossed over his chest, the last time he would see the hunger in those golden eyes aimed at him. It was a stab in his heart, and his eyes were tearing up. He silently told Bokuto he was fine; he was just already missing this moment before it was over.

Eventually Kuroo looked down, let his head hang low, and he turned around. He positioned himself onto the bed on his hands and knees, making sure to push his ass out, acting unusually flirty as if to say: “I’m seriously fine.”

“Good,” Bokuto replied and stepped closer.

Kuroo’s thoughts were getting incoherent now that he knew that Bokuto would touch him any moment. He listened to the alpha settle behind him on the bed, and squeaked when cold lube dripped on his ass. Bokuto’s finger soothed the feeling, and Kuroo was quietly praying that Bokuto would go rough and push his finger inside without a warning. He was pleasantly surprised when Bokuto did suddenly push his finger in, and Kuroo couldn’t hold himself up anymore. He fell face down onto the bed, trying to keep his most desperate moans from slipping out as Bokuto fucked him with his finger.

Kuroo couldn’t properly hold his voice back after Bokuto suddenly added a second finger. The slight burn of the stretch made Kuroo’s cock twitch, and he couldn’t stop his hips from moving. Bokuto stopped his hand to allow him to fuck himself on the thick digits, and Kuroo wanted to shout with how good he felt. He wanted more, he needed more, and he turned to look at Bokuto.

“Hurt me,” he said.

There was a hint of surprise in Bokuto’s eyes, and it was no wonder. What surprised Kuroo, however, was the fact that Bokuto simply blinked once in confirmation, pulled his fingers out and started spreading lube over his massive cock.

When the tip of Bokuto’s cock was resting against Kuroo’s entrance, Kuroo could hardly contain himself. If Bokuto asked him to beg and make a complete fool out of himself in front of Suga, he would do that just to feel more. Bokuto had a hand on his hips, and he moaned loudly when his hole was stretched by the tip of Bokuto’s cock.

Kuroo knew from experience how Bokuto always went about being rough; take the entrance slow, then slam in with all his force. Kuroo was certain that the anticipation would kill him if Bokuto didn’t move soon, and he was biting his lips to keep himself still.

When Bokuto finally pushed in with all his might, Kuroo cried out, his body shuddering with how good he felt. The pain of being filled so quickly was just a dull throb underneath the thick layer of pleasure he felt with each thrust of Bokuto’s hips into him. He tried to find a hold of his sheets, tried to push back to meet Bokuto, but his limbs were heavy and his head light with arousal. Bokuto’s hand was on his cock, pumping in time with his thrusts, and Kuroo was quickly getting close, already feeling the beginnings of a knot at the base of his cock.

Kuroo came with a loud groan, spilling his semen all over the towels and Bokuto’s hand, and Bokuto continued fucking him until he couldn’t hold himself up any longer. Bokuto’s cock slipped out of him and he dropped down onto the bed, his friend still jerking his cock until he was completely spent and shivering.

*

Kuro: _Hey._

Yuuji: _Finally! I thought you had gotten tired of me._

Kuro: _No fear! I’ve just been preoccupied._

Yuuji: _Studying and volleyball?_

Kuro: _…_

Kuro: _I had a threesome with my best friend and his omega._

Yuuji: _You’re not talking about the same omega you had a crush on who lives in Miyagi?_

Kuro: _Same one._

Yuuji: _I guess congratulations?_

Yuuji: _Kuro? Are you still there?_

Kuro: _I’m so fucked._

Kuro: _Figuratively._

Yuuji: _If you want to talk I’m here._

Kuro: _I think I have a crush on both._

Yuuji: _Aren’t they open for a third person in their relationship?_

Kuro: _No. It was just a favour. The omega had a fantasy of seeing two alphas together._

Kuro: _And the way they were together was so_

Yuuji: _Loving?_

Kuro: _I guess that’s the best word for it. They were such mates._

Yuuji: _Sounds like you need a distraction._

Kuro: _Agreed 100%_

Yuuji: _Want to meet?_

Kuroo’s heart skipped a beat. He had sometimes thought about it, but hadn’t seriously believed it to ever happen for real. He was curious to meet the alpha who was so confident about his sexuality. A part of him was hoping that his confidence would rub onto him too.

Yuuji: _Just to clarify, I mean as friends._

Kuro: _Yeah._

Yuuji: _With benefits?_

Kuro: _Hell yeah!_

Kuroo had a wide smile on his face. He felt a familiar excitement low in his belly, the same kind he had always felt when he knew Bokuto was coming over back when they still had sex. He thought about all the pictures he had of Yuuji and what it would feel like to touch the body he had fantasised about before.

Yuuji: _It’s probably time for you to see my face._

Kuro: _Oh you’re right._

Kuroo turned to look at himself in the mirror. He didn’t like what he saw: a sheen of sweat on his forehead and his skin shiny with grease, and on top of it all his hair had been an unusually bad mess all day. It was not a good day for selfies, but Kuroo didn’t have any old pictures he could use.

When Kuroo took a picture his phone alerted him to a new message from Yuuji. Before looking at it he attached his own picture to a new message and wrote: “Hi, I’m Kuroo Tetsurou,” hoping that it would come off as a joke to balance his hideous face.

Kuroo only stopped to breathe after he had sent the message. He opened Yuuji’s message and was faced with a photo of an extremely handsome guy. Yuuji had blond hair slicked back with gel. His undercut showed off his pierced ears. On his face he had a smile that was almost shy, although in his eyes Kuroo could see a smirk that made it apparent to him that this was the same person whose body he had seen before.

Yuuji: _!!!!!!_

Kuro: _Same_

Yuuji: _You’re so hot!_

Kuro: _Well you’re sexy! I can’t believe that all this time I’ve been talking to someone that gorgeous._

Yuuji: _I was just going to say something similar about you stop stealing my words!_

Kuro felt giddy as he continued bickering with Yuuji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew it would take me forever to update, which is exactly why I said in the first chapter that I shouldn't have published yet. Anyway, here it is, and I will hopefully at least not take any longer to complete the last chapter.
> 
> Also please assume that Kuroo and Yuuji's usernames are something more clever and probably written with different kanji or something.
> 
> I occassionally talk about my fics on [twitter](http://twitter.com/mean_whale) if you want to take a look.


	4. Surprises

It was unexpectedly difficult to find a time that was good for both Kuroo and Yuuji, so they had to push back their meeting with a few weeks. While the anticipation kept Kuroo’s mind mostly preoccupied, he couldn’t help feeling sad over Bokuto and Suga.

Kuroo was lying in his bed, trying to figure out how he really felt. He didn’t understand why he still hurt when he thought about Suga falling for Bokuto, because usually he got over his crushed quite soon.

But usually he didn’t sleep with them as a part of a threesome. Not to mention his feelings for Bokuto. His thoughts wandered back to that afternoon of sex, how he had been allowed to touch Suga’s soft skin, travel along his body with his lips and leave the tiniest marks onto his thighs. He thought about the way Bokuto had bent over to allow him to prepare his ass for what was to come as he continued to fuck Suga with eager thrusts. The thought stung and Kuroo tried to force his thoughts elsewhere, but couldn’t stop remembering the way Suga kneeled above his face, ass lowered for his pleasure and Bokuto fucking himself on his cock.

Kuroo whined in his quiet room and cuddled into himself. He felt so stupid for letting the pleasurable memories make him so sad. He thought about the whispered words of endearment between Suga and Bokuto that he tried to block away as he kneaded the omega’s ass and pushed his tongue in as deep as it would go, as Bokuto’s ass tightened around his cock.

Bokuto. Kuroo thought about his muscular friend who was so gentle yet still managed to hurt him. He didn’t do it on purpose, and Kuroo had done his own share in giving himself grief, but the last time he had fucked Bokuto with Suga lying on the bed next to them he had looked at his friend and longed to be kissed.

Kuroo sighed and closed his eyes, only to soon be startled by a knock on his door. He immediately knew it was Kenma, but didn’t feel like he had the energy to talk so he stayed quiet.

“Kuro,” Kenma said and poked his head in.

Kuroo remained quiet and still. He heard Kenma enter the room before closing the door behind him. For a moment Kenma stood there, taking in the pitiful sight that was Kuroo wallowing in pain, before letting out a quiet sigh and sitting down to the edge of the bed.

“I came to ask you if you have something troubling you,” Kenma said. “You haven’t been yourself lately.”

Kuroo’s eyes were heavy.

“You know I will always listen to you,” Kenma said quietly.

Kenma’s words were the last straw for Kuroo’s emotional state and his eyes teared up as Kenma silently waited for him to say something. He turned his head slightly to conceal his face. Because they were childhood friends Kenma had seen Kuroo cry before, but that was when they were kids. For a long time now he had been Kenma’s support, the person who remained strong so Kenma could be weak.

Kuroo thought about his relationship with Kenma lately. He felt like they had drifted apart some, and it was all his fault. He had been so preoccupied with his messy social life that he had easily slipped away.

“Kuro,” Kenma’s familiar voice called, and Kuroo felt like they were suddenly miles apart. “Why are you crying?”

The question brought Kenma back to Kuroo’s room, or rather brought Kuroo back to where he really was. It stung to know that Kenma knew he was crying, but it was also comforting, to be reminded of how well they knew each other. How well Kenma knew him. Kuroo thought about Kenma’s secret relationship with Akaashi with bitterness. He understood why Kenma had wanted to keep it a secret from most people, but why him?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” was the first thing Kuroo managed to get out.

His voice was stuffy and he sniffed.

“I was scared,” Kenma replied.

“Don’t you trust me?” Kuroo asked and sounded way more annoyed than he had wanted to.

“I trust you, Kuro,” Kenma said. “I don’t trust myself.”

What does that even mean? Kuroo wondered but his emotions were taking over again and he wasn’t convinced he’d be able to speak.

“I was scared that telling you would make it more real,” Kenma continued calmly. “And if it was more real I would freak out and back away.”

Kuroo was immediately blaming himself for being stupid enough to think that Kenma didn’t trust him. He should have believed in their friendship. He had become such a jerk.

“I like Keiji,” Kenma said, and Kuroo knew exactly what kind of a face he was making: hair hanging around him as he shyly looked at the floor, lips pressed together. “I don’t want to freak out.”

Kuroo nodded into his pillow. He only wished Kenma had told him so he could have been there to support him with those thoughts. He would tell Kenma later. He felt the attention switch back to him.

“Why are you sad?” Kenma repeated his first question.

“My heart is broken,” Kuroo said, trying to turn it into a joke, but his voice was sombre.

“Because of Bokuto,” Kenma stated, and Kuroo nodded.

“Because of Suga and him,” he said.

Kenma hummed in understanding and his hand brushed against Kuroo’s back. The touch was the first one since they had talked about the same thing in practice camp, and Kuroo briefly wondered if being with Akaashi had helped Kenma see the way physical touch could be reassuring, but mostly Kuroo felt something inside himself crumble and he gasped as if he had been drowning.

“I like alphas,” he said quietly, but he knew that Kenma could hear him. “I’m an alpha and want to be with another alpha.”

“I know,” Kenma said, completely startling Kuroo.

Kuroo turned to lie on his back, not caring about the fact that his face was teary and snotty and his eyes red.

“What do you mean you know?” he asked with a stuffy voice. “You don’t know. No one knows.”

“Bokuto knows too,” Kenma stated. “I’ve known for a long time, Kuro. You’re not very good at hiding things from me.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kuroo asked and sniffled.

“I figured it was something you didn’t want to talk about,” Kenma said. “Just like you never said anything to me, even though you knew how uncomfortable I am being an alpha.”

“I didn’t think it matters to our friendship,” Kuroo said and finally understood what Kenma meant. “I’m sorry for being such a crappy friend lately.”

Kenma took a soft hold of Kuroo’s hand.

“You’re not a crappy friend,” he said. “You’re a good friend who’s going through a hard time.”

Kuroo squeezed Kenma’s hand and smiled tiredly.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he said.

Kenma smiled.

*

The trip to Miyagi felt far longer than it truly was. Kuroo tried to study to pass the time, but couldn’t stay focused. After reading the same paragraph several times and still not understanding it, he gave up and listened to music instead.

Excitement and nervousness were crawling in Kuroo’s stomach, and he stared out of the window with no understanding of what he was seeing.

When the train finally arrived, Kuroo swallowed before stepping out. He was suddenly fearful that he wouldn’t recognise Yuuji or that he would be met by a sleazy middle aged man who was only looking to raping and murdering him. Or maybe Yuuji would see him from afar and realise how ugly he was in person and left before Kuroo could meet him.

As he made his way out of the platform Kuroo was biting his lip. Then suddenly he saw a blond guy wearing tight-fitting clothes standing by some benches and looking around. Kuroo approached him slowly, having immediately recognised him as Yuuji, but an irrational fear of having made a mistake kept him from going any quicker.

“Yuuji?” Kuroo asked so quietly he thought his voice would be swallowed by the background noise.

“Kuro?” Yuuji turned his head to look at him and broke into a wide smile. “Or maybe I should call you Tetsurou since you also know me by my first name?”

Kuroo’s cheeks heated up and he cleared his throat.

“I don’t really mind either way,” Kuroo said.

“Then I’ll call you Tetsurou,” Yuuji said determinedly and put away his phone that he had been holding. “Do you want to go to my place to get rid of your stuff?”

Kuroo made sure that it wouldn’t be an inconvenience before agreeing, and they headed to Yuuji’s home.

“Like I told you my parents will be gone a lot of the time, so you can take it easy,” Yuuji explained. “And I told them that we know through volleyball. I hope it’s fine?”

“Yeah, that’s good,” Kuroo managed to say.

He felt Yuuji’s eyes measuring him.

“I didn’t expect you to be so shy,” the alpha said with a smirk.

“I’m not usually,” Kuroo tried to sound convincing.

“It’s cute,” Yuuji said and laughed at Kuroo’s frown. “Am I anything like you imagined?”

“You mean hot and confident?” Kuroo asked before letting out a quiet sigh. “Yes.”

“You’re flattering me,” Yuuji laughed and Kuroo felt himself relax just a bit.

They chatted all the way to Yuuji’s place, and Kuroo was getting more comfortable with the alpha. He felt a bit similar to how it had been when he was expecting the threesome with Bokuto and Suga: nervous excitement was swarming through his spine.

Yuuji led Kuroo right to his bedroom. Kuroo placed his bag on the floor and looked at Yuuji whose eyes were on him.

“What?” he asked.

Yuuji took a moment longer to measure him with his eyes before answering:

“Am I a terrible host if I feel you up right now?”

Kuroo shivered with the thought.

“No,” he said and cleared his throat after hearing how strangled his voice sounded.

“You have any preferences for casual stuff?” Yuuji asked as he stepped closer. “Is it okay to kiss?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo breathed, eyes locked on Yuuji’s lips. “I mean, no, I don’t have anything I wouldn’t want to do.”

Yuuji nodded right before closing the distance between them and brushed his lips over Kuroo’s. Before he could back away Kuroo lifted his hands to his nape to pull him back and pressed their mouths together. Yuuji melted into the kiss, his lips moving eagerly as Kuroo’s fingers massaged the back of his head. Kuroo licked Yuuji’s lips until the alpha opened them and allowed him to enter. His own tongue met Kuroo’s, and his piercing definitely added a new kind of feeling to the kiss.

Yuuji moaned quietly and pressed his body closer. Kuroo groaned at the feeling of a body next to his, the feeling of another person’s warmth against him. Yuuji’s hands landed on his ass and squeezed lightly before dragging up to his waist. Kuroo broke the kiss to breathe and moan against Yuuji’s ear.

“Top or bottom?” Yuuji asked.

“Huh?” Kuroo replied, his head still buzzing with how good the kiss felt.

“Do you top or bottom?” Yuuji asked and let his hands slide back to Kuroo’s ass.

“Bottom,” Kuroo replied. “Or I don’t really care.”

“Good,” Yuuji said, “because I like to top but sometimes want to switch.”

Kuroo smirked and cocked his head slightly.

“And how do you feel today?” he asked.

“I feel,” Yuuji said slowly and moved one hand from Kuroo’s ass to his front, “that I want to be fucked hard by someone with as sexy a smirk as you have.”

Yuuji pressed against Kuroo’s crotch and Kuroo’s breath hitched.

“If you don’t mind topping?” Yuuji added.

“I don’t mind,” Kuroo said and pressed his lips onto Yuuji’s neck. “But I do believe in returning the favour.”

Yuuji chuckled.

“Sounds good,” he said.

Kuroo completely lost himself in the touch of Yuuji’s lips, hands and body, allowing all of his nervousness to melt away from his muscles. Yuuji hastily pulled a futon out before they dropped down in a mess of limbs.

Yuuji knew how to take advantage of his pierced tongue as he teased Kuroo with sensual licks. Kuroo was starting to wish he had said he was strictly a bottom, because he was craving to feel Yuuji’s tongue tease his entrance.

He reminded himself that Yuuji had pretty much promised to return the favour, so he pushed the thought away to be used later and tried to focus on his alpha side. He pulled away and looked at Yuuji’s nude chest. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when they had removed their shirts but he was glad he didn’t have to do it anymore.

Yuuji was slim but had nicely formed muscles. Kuroo placed his hands onto Yuuji’s chest and slid them down to his waist. Yuuji was panting quietly and smiled back when Kuroo smirked at him.

It was apparent to Kuroo that Yuuji was no stranger to bottoming, as he was able to easily relax when Kuroo pushed his finger inside. He could add a second one soon after, the lube making slick sounds as he spread the alpha’s hole.

“Your fingers feel so good,” Yuuji breathed with a soft moan escaping his lips.

“Your ass feels good too,” Kuroo said and blushed at how stupid it sounded.

Yuuji didn’t seem to mind, as he simply continued pushing his ass towards Kuroo to penetrate himself on the alpha’s fingers.

“Tetsurou,” Yuuji moaned and arched his back. “It’s enough. I’m ready for your cock.”

Kuroo groaned at the sound of his name on Yuuji’s lips and bent down to kiss them, lick over them with his hungry tongue. He then pulled his fingers out and spread lube over his aching cock.

While Kuroo touched himself Yuuji turned to lie on his back and looked at the way Kuroo’s hand was wrapped around his heavy cock. Yuuji licked his lips and smirked.

“I want to face you,” he said, licking his lips once more, piercing sticking to his lip and reminding Kuroo of all the possible things the alpha could use it for. “You’re so hot when you’re turned on. I bet your face is even better when you come.”

Kuroo groaned and dropped his hips so that his cock slid against Yuuji’s. Yuuji made a sound that reminded Kuroo of the purr he had heard from Suga while Bokuto was cuddling him post-sex. He swore in his mind before lining his cock to Yuuji’s hole and pressing in carefully.

“Ah, shit,” Yuuji said with a pleased hiss. “You fill me so good.”

Kuroo could barely stop himself from slamming in with how erotic Yuuji sounded with each breath he took. Kuroo bit his lip and pushed in steadily until his cock was entirely buried inside the other alpha. Yuuji didn’t waste any time to start moving his hips and entice Kuroo into fucking him with quick thrusts.

Yuuji was loud, his voice encouraging Kuroo to be loud too. Their voices echoed off of each other as Kuroo’s fingers spread over the skin of Yuuji’s hips and his cock hit the other alpha deep inside. Yuuji was tight around his cock, jerking his own cock to the rhythm of Kuroo’s hips, and it took embarrassingly little time for Kuroo to feel his knot starting to form.

Kuroo pulled out just in time for his come to shoot all over Yuuji’s stomach and chest, some of it reaching his chin. Kuroo was panting loudly and squeezed his knot to give himself a final high when Yuuji moaned particularly beautifully and came too, his seed mixing with Kuroo’s over his body.

“Man, that was good,” Yuuji said and smirked, a sigh leaving his throat.

“Yeah,” was the only thing Kuroo could say as he lay down onto the bed to catch his breath.

*

Kuroo was sitting in Yuuji’s room, half-dressed and still drying his hair when Yuuji stepped in.

“You want to go out?” Yuuji asked, a towel hanging low on his hips. “I know this place for gays.”

Kuroo hesitated.

“You don’t have to worry about people you know seeing you, right?” Yuuji said.

Kuroo nodded slowly but was still not sure if it was a good idea.

“It’s a really nice place,” Yuuji said. “I thought it would be cool to go so you get to feel at ease while we’re out.”

Kuroo looked up at Yuuji who was smiling at him.

“Thanks,” Kuroo mumbled and decided that if Yuuji had gone to all the trouble of thinking an activity that would make him feel better about himself it was his duty to go through with it.

When they entered the place Kuroo relaxed a bit. It was not very big, but comfortable and clearly accepting. Kuroo looked around and noticed that most of the people were around their age, all of them looked normal and were having fun.

“I’ve never been to a place like this before,” Kuroo said quietly as Yuuji led him to a couch.

“Really?” Yuuji wondered. “There are so many places in Tokyo.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Kuroo said and cleared his throat. “It’s just that I’m scared that someone will recognise me.”

Yuuji nodded in understanding.

“Maybe I could visit you some day and take you out,” he said with such a friendly smile Kuroo could find no reason to say no.

Yuuji looked around and waved at someone who was looking their way.

“I’ll just go quickly say hello,” Yuuji said. “I won’t take long.”

Kuroo nodded and smiled, and Yuuji left. Kuroo looked at him greet the group of people and immediately knew it would take longer than Yuuji might have intended. He sighed and looked around the place to try to determine if he could tell that all the alphas were gay, when he noticed a familiar face.

Kuroo thought for a moment but then got up and made his way to the boy who was sitting by a table alone and looking nervous.

“Hello there,” Kuroo said and pulled out a chair to sit on. “I wouldn’t have expected to see you in a place like this.”

Sawamura looked at him with a perplexed face.

“A place like this?” he repeated.

“A gay club,” Kuroo said, and his smirk along with his confidence died a little bit.

Sawamura’s eyes widened and he cast a quick look around.

“This is a gay club?” he asked with a hushed voice, leaned closer to Kuroo to keep other people from hearing.

Kuroo nodded and let his smirk drop.

“My friends dragged me here with them,” Sawamura explained, his voice still quiet. “I’m not gay!”

Kuroo cleared his throat and leaned back, about to leave when Sawamura leaned even closer to him, almost all the way over the table.

“Are you gay?” he asked, and Kuroo was suddenly sweating as his cheeks heated up.

He remained on the chair but glanced back to Yuuji for help.

“You fucked Suga,” Sawamura said, voice almost too loud.

Yuuji was looking their way with one eyebrow raised in question.

“Uh,” Kuroo didn’t know what to say, and he stiffly turned to look back at Sawamura.

Somehow he had happily let it slip his mind that before Bokuto, Suga had been dating Sawamura. How could he forget such a massive important detail!

“I know you did,” Sawamura said sourly. “He told me.”

“Well I hope he also told you he only did it to get to Bokuto,” Kuroo said in defence.

The look on Sawamura’s face was hard to decipher.

“How would that get them closer?” he asked.

Kuroo sighed dramatically.

“Sex doesn’t always happen between just two people,” he said.

The look on Sawamura’s face was so horrified that Kuroo thought it was worth revealing his sexuality to the other alpha. Sawamura was starting to go pale.

“Suga wouldn’t do that,” he said quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself. “He wouldn’t.”

“From what I’ve heard about his sex life with you it’s no wonder you wouldn’t know what he wants,” Kuroo spat.

Sawamura stayed quiet. Kuroo decided it was time to leave, but yet again he was stopped before he could get up. Sawamura placed a hand on his arm and looked at him with desperation.

“You wouldn’t do it,” the alpha said weakly. “You’re gay.”

Kuroo’s face must have been intensely red at this point. He forced himself to look Sawamura straight in the eyes.

“He’s the only omega I’ve ever wanted,” he said calmly. “So as much as he used me, I also used him.”

Sawamura’s hand dropped to the table and his mouth was hanging open but he seemed unable to say anything. Kuroo stood up and left the place.

The outside air was cool and calming, and Kuroo dropped his head into his hands. He had revealed way more than he should have – not only about himself but about Suga too. He was pretty sure that Suga wanted to keep their threesome a secret, yet he had only been interested in making himself look better.

“Hey,” Yuuji said as he peeked through the door before stepping out. “What happened?”

“I think I messed up on so many levels it’s not even ridiculous, it’s embarrassing,” Kuroo said and moaned in shame.

“Let’s go somewhere else and you’ll tell me all about it,” Yuuji said and took a hold of Kuroo’s arm, gently pulling him away.

Kuroo heard the door open behind them and Sawamura’s voice talking to someone, and he sank closer to Yuuji for support.

“I can’t believe you would take me to a gay club,” Kuroo heard Sawamura’s voice echo behind him.

“Don’t freak out over someone trying to pick you up,” his friend laughed. “You’re quite the catch!”

Kuroo groaned and pressed his head as low as it would go, and thankfully they were soon far away from Sawamura and his friends.

Yuuji led Kuroo to a park and bought them both a drink from the vending machine. Kuroo opened his coffee and took a sip before sighing.

“Tell me what happened,” Yuuji asked. “When you approached that table you looked so confident but then you left looking miserable.”

Kuroo grunted and tried to think of a way to make it sound less stupid.

“That was my crush’s ex,” he finally said. “I was surprised to see him in a gay club so I went to see…”

Kuroo took a moment to think about his reasoning.

“You went to see if he would be interested?” Yuuji asked.

Kuroo shook his head but truthfully he wasn’t entirely sure if he was being honest with himself.

“I mean,” he said tentatively. “He’s really hot, I give you that, but he was pretty much blaming me for their break-up.”

“Why would he?” Yuuji asked.

“Because I had sex with his ex,” Kuroo replied.

“Okay, but how does he know that?” Yuuji asked.

“Apparently Suga told him,” Kuroo sighed. “Wait, I shouldn’t have said his name!”

Yuuji laughed so hard he spilled some of his drink to the ground.

“His secret is safe with me,” Yuuji laughed and playfully pushed Kuroo. “It’s not like I have a reason to spread rumours about people I’ve never met.”

Kuroo tried to smile but he couldn’t help remembering Sawamura.

“Anyway, I didn’t even tell Suga I liked him before they had already broken up,” Kuroo continued.

“So it’s none of that guy’s business!” Yuuji concluded.

“Also now he knows I’m,” Kuroo swallowed and looked around, lowering his voice considerably before leaning closer to Yuuji. “That I’m gay.”

“Are you worried he’s going to use that against you?” Yuuji asked.

“No?” Kuroo exclaimed. “Yes! Now that you said it, yes, what would stop him?”

“Calm down,” Yuuji said and finished his drink. “I’m sure he wouldn’t.”

“I don’t know,” Kuroo said uncertainly.

“You can always tell people he’s lying,” Yuuji suggested.

Kuroo sighed. Yuuji reached to take the coffee off his hand.

“So how about this,” Yuuji said and drank the rest of Kuroo’s drink. “We go back to my place and I make you forget all about this?”

Kuroo breathed in deep before turning to look at Yuuji.

“Now you’re talking,” he said and smirked.

*

Yuuji was very good at topping. Very good. Kuroo could only hold on to the sheets with both hands as Yuuji pounded into him hard and deep, each thrust teasing his prostate. Kuroo pressed his face onto the pillow as his body shivered with pleasure, and he pushed back to meet Yuuji’s hips with as much force as he could summon.

Kuroo had already been blissful after Yuuji rimmed him taking advantage of his piercing, the sensations having melted Kuroo into the bed, so the feeling of being stretched open by Yuuji’s length was heightened. He let out a sob, eyes squeezing shut and being prickled by the beginnings of tears. The sound of Yuuji’s hips hitting his ass were mixed with the alpha’s groans and occasional praise he was muttering.

“You’re so tight,” Yuuji breathed. “So good!”

Kuroo only moaned in reply, unable to form coherent thoughts in his head as he was reduced to only feeling pleasure everywhere Yuuji touched him, hips, waist, nipples being grazed by nails before Yuuji’s mouth attached to Kuroo’s neck. Kuroo felt blunt teeth kiss his skin before Yuuji sucked and licked, moving down to Kuroo’s shoulders as his hips were constantly pounding into Kuroo.

Kuroo’s entire body was shaking with arousal, ass tightening and loosening around the other alpha’s cock before with one more push Yuuji sent Kuroo over the edge.

The sound Kuroo made was a choked cry and it only registered to him slightly later. He was shivering, oversensitivity sending tears down his face and into the pillow he was resting on.

“Just a bit more,” Yuuji grunted, hands tightening on Kuroo’s hips as he kept the speed of his thrusts quick.

After a moment more of Yuuji’s hurried thrusts Kuroo felt his knot teasing his entrance.

Kuroo wanted to beg for the alpha to knot him, but already knew the answer so he stayed quiet, whimpering with the feeling of being stretched and so thoroughly fucked. With a moan Yuuji finished inside Kuroo, knot pressing against Kuroo’s opening as his semen coated Kuroo’s insides.

Yuuji carefully pulled out, hands massaging Kuroo’s hips and lower back until Kuroo allowed his body to collapse onto the bed. Yuuji lay down next to him and pressed tiny kisses all over Kuroo’s shoulders.

“Was it good? Did you enjoy it?” Yuuji asked and rubbed Kuroo’s arm.

Kuroo turned to face the alpha.

“You cried!” Yuuji noticed and wiped Kuroo’s cheeks with a tender hand.

“It was the best I’ve had in a while,” Kuroo said.

Yuuji looked relieved.

“Were you really worried I didn’t like it?” Kuroo asked.

Yuuji chuckled and hid his face behind Kuroo’s shoulder.

“You never know with new people,” he mumbled in response.

Kuroo laughed.

“Maybe I would have said something if I didn’t like it,” he said and turned to face the other alpha.

“I guess so,” Yuuji said and smiled before a quick suck on Kuroo’s lower lip.

“I’m really glad I came to visit,” Kuroo said and smiled back.

“Me too,” Yuuji said happily. “The only downside is that now I want to see you every weekend!”

“I probably wouldn’t mind,” Kuroo replied and they both smiled.

*

Yuuji escorted Kuroo to the station. Kuroo’s body was still warm with the “goodbye blowjob” Yuuji had insisted on giving him before they left. They were chatting happily, and in spite of everything Kuroo was happy that he had decided to visit Miyagi.

Just as they were approaching the station someone stopped in front of Kuroo. The alpha turned to look at Sawamura who was standing in front of him with an embarrassed look on his face.

“Hey,” he said timidly, cheeks red and eyes jumping between the two alphas in front of him. “Do you have just a minute?”

Kuroo glanced at Yuuji who smiled politely.

“Sure he does,” he said and was already walking away. “I’ll wait over there.”

Kuroo looked at Yuuji’s back for as long as he could because he wasn’t all that excited to look at Sawamura.

“You probably have a train to catch so I’ll just come out and say I’m sorry,” Sawamura said so fast it was hard to understand him. “I overreacted. Completely.”

Kuroo simply nodded and hoped that Sawamura would get the hint and leave.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Sawamura asked instead, nodding back to where Yuuji was waiting, phone on his hand and a focused look on his face.

“No,” Kuroo said and shook his head. “We’re just friends.”

“With benefits?” Sawamura asked.

“Did you have anything else of importance to say?” was Kuroo’s response.

“Yeah, sorry,” Sawamura said and looked down to Kuroo’s feet. “I was just thinking about things, and would you like to… Do you think you could…”

Kuroo tried to hide his annoyance with Sawamura’s difficulty of speaking what was in his mind. Then the alpha took out a piece of paper from his pocket.

“Here’s my number,” he said without looking at Kuroo’s face. “If you maybe want to keep in contact.”

Kuroo took the piece of paper without a word, staring at Sawamura.

“I was kind of hoping to run into you before you leave,” Sawamura offered as an explanation. “Well, you probably need to go. Bye.”

With that Sawamura gave a shy smile before turning away.

“Bye,” Kuroo replied late, voice dry and sounding forced.

Sawamura waved his hand to indicate he had heard before disappearing into the crowd. Kuroo thought about how lucky Sawamura must have been to find him in the first place when Yuuji approached again.

“What happened?” the alpha asked. “What did he give you?”

“His number,” Kuroo said.

“Oh cool,” Yuuji said and leaned against Kuroo’s shoulder.

“Is it?” Kuroo asked stiffly.

“Sure,” Yuuji replied. “It means he wants you to call him. You know, _call_ him.”

Kuroo turned to look at Yuuji with a slightly horrified face.

“He’s not gay,” he almost whispered.

“Whatever you say,” Yuuji replied and shrugged.

*

It had been nearly a week when Kuroo finally took out his phone and added Sawamura’s number to his contacts. He then opened a new message and wrote:

“Hi, this is Kuroo.”

He pressed _send_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this fic was an experience. I had some serious struggles with writing which shows in how slow I was to complete, but I hope it doesn't really show in the final result.
> 
> I was probably going to say something more but I have happily forgotten.
> 
> I have [a dedicated writing blog](http://mean-whalewrites.tumblr.com) but also sometimes talk about writing [on twitter](http://twitter.com/mean_whale), but to follow me on twitter please be over 18!


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